All I want for Christmas

The call came in a department store so I found it difficult to take in. My eldest was telling me that his mum had fallen over and hurt herself - her head.

They were at Battersea Power Station ice skating and she had fallen. Another voice came on the line. An adult who seemed reassuring and said something about needing to go to hospital for stitches. 

It was worrying but seemed manageable. I spoke briefly to my wife who didn't seem too bad. The call was over as they were about to get a taxi.

I headed home and didn't realise I was getting follow up texts from both sons. Then I spotted a missed call. They were increasingly worried about their mum who didn't seem to know who they were. It sounded bad. They were talking about a brain scan.

My anxiety level went through the roof. I was more than two hours away on a holiday travel day with a dodgy heart that I wasn't sure would react well to this stress.

My father in law offered to drive when I called to tell him what was happening. He'd already been to London that day but offered anyway. I don't know if I could have done it - I was so shaky.

On the journey, the news got better. She'd been seen and had the scan. There didn't seem to be anything badly wrong. She had stitches in the wound and was more present than she had been. She knew who they were and maybe even who I was.

I started to calm down. By the time I got there she was almost ready to be discharged. She looked confused and a bit frightened but a lot better than I had been expecting. The doctor said she could go home or stay overnight for observation. I just wanted to get her home.

The conventions at this time of year are all about family and togetherness but I don't know if it has ever hit me like that before. When something bad happens to someone you love it is unbearable. The release I felt when the worst didn't come to pass was immense.

So I don't have to think too hard about what I want for Christmas. It's the same as ever - for us to be okay and together. 

Postscript to this is how proud I was of the boys in handling yesterday. It's the second time in recent months that the eldest has been in a situation that was a test. He acted calmly and clearly even though he was very distressed by what was happening. They looked after each other and their mother is a way that makes my battered old heart swell.

Now, if we could just have a few boring, uneventful months.